I'm Dating Again

I went on a date last week. We needed to catch up on life and reconnect. Not with Clayton though. And actually I had two dates with two of my girl friends. It was a wonderful time with both of them! I've been so very busy these past several months that I have sadly, neglected some of my relationships that I really don't want to neglect.

This got me thinking about some conversations I’ve had recently. I think friendships are a lot like dating.

In the best scenario, you meet someone you’d like to be friends with and you work up the courage (or she does) to ask her out. A playdate seems to work well for a first “date.” So we do that. And it goes really well. Time goes on and we move to the next level and have the whole family over for dinner. Still playing out the dream sequence, the husbands get along well, the kids play very nicely, and we get to have a moment to get to know each other more. And then from there it just blossoms and has the potential to turn into a really great friendship.

Or it just doesn't...

There are so many ways it can go wrong. First of all maybe the potential friend isn’t interested in being friends. It happens. Maybe the timing is just wrong or the chemistry just isn’t there. To be honest, I’ve been on both sides of that equation. Rejection always sucks…but it’s part of finding any relationship worth keeping.

Or perhaps you go for the first “date” and it even seems to go well…but things get in the way. Maybe the kids don’t get along or the husbands don’t. Or maybe this budding relationship so ripe with potential never really makes it past the first butterfly-type feelings. For some unknown reason it stagnates as a very shallow relationship. Which is fine…some people – particularly the “people” people like me – have lots of these friendships. And they can be a lot of fun…hang out, see a movie, make small talk, do an occasional play date and what not. But they never seem to make it to a level where there’s that real connection…the sharing of your heart kind of thing.

This is hard for me…and everyone I imagine. Putting yourself out there just to hope that the relationship gets deeper is hard. The risk for hurt is great. So it’s easy to stop trying to get past the shallow water.

I think as women, we want need to be connected. We’re made for a level of intimacy that was meant to be fulfilled through some of our relationships with other women. We’re made to “one another” each other. So we keep looking…and when we find those relationships that can make it to the deep end of the pool, then we need to hold onto them. Nurture them. Invest in them.

Anyway, I’m dating…I hope you’re dating too. If not, get back in the game!